Weddings, funeral, namings and everything in-between… to be honest, people don’t really remember the details. They only really remember what’s important to them.
For the guests, quite often it’s the music. For my clients – it’s the feeling.
The feeling of LOVE – be that the joy of love at a naming ceremony, the hope of love at a wedding ceremony, or the evidence of love at a funeral ceremony – we get that FEELING RIGHT.
In 1971 a high-level official in the Mormon church called Carl W Buehner is quoted to have said
“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel”
It has been suggested it was hearing this that inspired Maya Angelou to repeat the message over time in her writing and speaking
I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
I know people won’t remember the exact detail. I’m not selling them a script. I know the way I say those words isn’t what I sell – I’m not a speechwriter. I know the little details and hindsight and 25 year experience in ceremony only contributes to what I sell because I’m not a wedding planner, registrar or a priest…. but I know for sure, and for it to be 100% true that I AM selling a feeling. I am selling all those things that make your ceremony truly everything you wanted it to be. I will take all those moments, record them as memories, and recreate them as a feeling….. and it’s THAT feeling that you will remember.
It’s hours of thought, ideas, brainstorming, reading choices, vow workshops, draft script, edits , choreography, zoom calls, coffees , catch ups, and shared dog walks that will make that happen.
Your Celebrant led ceremony, created with me and you will have all of that. Both registrar and a Vicar have to follow a script. They do not have the freedom as they are obliged to follow the legally signed off script, or the Churches published liturgy.
There will be hundreds of ceremonies up and down the country having the same thing read and said. For some, they like that because there is a sense of ancestry – it will be the same wedding script or the same funeral words that their parents and grandparent, neighbours and colleagues have all had. I see the appeal in that.. but only for a few touches and perhaps in a particular place. That’s why I am an INDEPENDENT CIVIL CELEBRANT and not a humanist. I shall make space for faith or culture or spirituality and personality. I shall make the script reflect you as a person, or how you might hope to be as a couple, or how your loved one wanted to be remembered.
We have the power of choice. We have the luxury of freedom.
Maya Angelo also said in her speech
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
So let it out! Let me expertly guide you as we tell your love story , so that everyone – all your nearest and dearest will see , hear and remember how LOVE makes you feel.
This post was written by Helen Noble and originally posted here. Helen is an exhibitor in the WeddingShow247 Celebrants & Toastmasters Hall on the Celebrant floor. You can visit the exhibition stand here.